Darkest Night of the Soul

Thinking of killing yourself?

I know some of you are struggling.

You know it's cold in the valley of the shadow of death, and the shadows cast there are much larger than your own.

Three days.

Just hold on for three more days.

"Whoever denies Me before men, I will also deny him before My Father in heaven" were the words spoken by Jesus, and Peter was no doubt reminded of those words when he denied the Christ three separate times.

I'm sure those words burned like a hot iron on Peter's heart during the Lord's crucifixion.

"Then Peter remembered the word Jesus had spoken: "Before the rooster crows, you will disown me three times." 

And he went outside and wept bitterly."

I know some of you feel that bitter pain.

Peter, having walked with Jesus during his ministry, saw the dead raised back to life, saw the transfiguration on the mount, saw blind eyes opened and lepers healed, professed with his own mouth that he was the Messiah, and yet in this critical moment he failed his Lord.

He denied God before men.

Then Peter began to curse and swear with an oath, “I don’t know the man!”

Compare Peter's story with Judas' betrayal and you'll see a very important distinction between the two.

"Then when Judas, who had betrayed Him, saw that He had been condemned, he felt remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver to the chief priests and elders,"

Though it was a much greater betrayal, Judas felt the same remorse.

But what did he do?

He returned to his sin, instead.

He returned to the pharisees to try and find redemption.

How about you?

You keep running back to stiff drink, to the arms of women, to your work.

You keep going back to your sin, as Judas did.

And where does that lead?

“I have sinned by betraying innocent blood.” cried out Judas.

But they said, “What is that to us? You shall see to it yourself!”

And he threw the pieces of silver into the temple sanctuary and left; and he went away and hanged himself."

I know some of you are at that place right now.

So let's go back and look at Peter's life.

Having denied the Christ three times before men, and most certainly doubting his own salvation, he did what any man ought to.

He went fishing with the boys.

He didn't isolate.

He got right back in community with those men he had walked with, even though his place among them was uncertain to say the least.

More importantly, he held on for three more days.

Those three days while his Savior who he rejected and denied was dead must have been the most difficult three days of Peter's life.

But he held on.

"Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus.

He called out to them, “Friends, haven’t you any fish?”

“No,” they answered.

He said, “Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some.”

When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish."

This was the exact same miracle that Christ used to call these men as his disciples at the first, and John immediately realizes who the stranger on the shore is.

As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, “It is the Lord,” he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water.

Three days of bitter grief, of doubting his salvation, of feeling isolated from his friends.

But those three days had passed and his redemption was standing right there on the shore, so he jumped into the water without hesitation. 

Now you already know the rest of Peter's story, how he was reinstated and redeemed.

But what about your story?

Will you stop turning back to your sin, and instead take your pain, your grief, and your broken heart to Jesus?

Here's the good news.

You don't have to wait three days.